Woke up this morning first thing the tears started, can it really be almost two years since I have seen my Jim or heard his voice? How can two years seem so long and so short at the same time? 16 days is all he had left to live two years ago and this in my third Christmas without him. If only I could turn back the hands of time knowing then what I know now. The great what ifs or if onlys!!! how can this be worse instead of better? I miss Jimmy more and more every day I see no light at the end of this tunnel. I wonder does anyone see the black cloud I feel hanging over me? I know my son and I know he would want me to be happy but this month I think he will forgive me for not being able to even get close to happy. I will send balloons on his angel day and buy flowers for him at Christmas, what else can a mom of a murdered child do, I will never see the look of joy on his face after opening his presents at Christmas or see the look of joy on his face because he knows he got just the right thing for his mom and his little girl. I will make it through this month because I have my loving family and all my sister moms beside me. Then I will start looking forward to spring when I can once again have Jimmy's garden full of beautiful flowers. I will continue to light a candle for My Jim every night until the day I go to see him on the other side.
Mom 2 an Angel
Angel Jim