This time of year used to be an exciting time for me and my boys. The start of the seasons changing was of course Halloween. Timmy would love to decorate the house, outside and in. He would get old clothes and stuff them and place a scary mask on top so it would look like some monster sitting in the chair out in the yard, he would get the spider web and hang it all over the bushes and drape the little spiders on it, with hanging ghosties. We would carve pumpkins and make pumpkin seeds. He loved drinking apple cider, he'd call me at the store and tell me don't forget to pick some up! As he got older he still continued his tradition, he liked to get dressed up with his friends, not really to go trick or treating, just to have fun. We would go to an annual Halloween Party at a close friend of mine's house. He loved to go there, I would always let him bring a friend. But all of that changed on 7/13/07. When evilness invaded our lives and took him away. So now each holiday the memories I have are all just that, memories. I try and look into something I might have missed, racking my brain to remember more, only if I could remember more would that make it easier to bear? I can't bring myself to decorate, even though people tell me he loved to do that you need to continue on doing what he loved to do. How can I?? How can I continue doing what he would have done, knowing he is not here enjoying it, it only makes me sad, why would I do something that would just make me sad? So to look like I'm "getting on with my life"? I'll never get on with my life, the life I had when Timmy, my youngest baby boy was alive, is a different life I now live. I have two lives now, one when Timmy my sweet buddy was alive, and this life now when he was brutally murdered at the age of 15 years old. This is my life now as I know it. How do you get over something like this?
Monday, November 2, 2009
Halloween
This time of year used to be an exciting time for me and my boys. The start of the seasons changing was of course Halloween. Timmy would love to decorate the house, outside and in. He would get old clothes and stuff them and place a scary mask on top so it would look like some monster sitting in the chair out in the yard, he would get the spider web and hang it all over the bushes and drape the little spiders on it, with hanging ghosties. We would carve pumpkins and make pumpkin seeds. He loved drinking apple cider, he'd call me at the store and tell me don't forget to pick some up! As he got older he still continued his tradition, he liked to get dressed up with his friends, not really to go trick or treating, just to have fun. We would go to an annual Halloween Party at a close friend of mine's house. He loved to go there, I would always let him bring a friend. But all of that changed on 7/13/07. When evilness invaded our lives and took him away. So now each holiday the memories I have are all just that, memories. I try and look into something I might have missed, racking my brain to remember more, only if I could remember more would that make it easier to bear? I can't bring myself to decorate, even though people tell me he loved to do that you need to continue on doing what he loved to do. How can I?? How can I continue doing what he would have done, knowing he is not here enjoying it, it only makes me sad, why would I do something that would just make me sad? So to look like I'm "getting on with my life"? I'll never get on with my life, the life I had when Timmy, my youngest baby boy was alive, is a different life I now live. I have two lives now, one when Timmy my sweet buddy was alive, and this life now when he was brutally murdered at the age of 15 years old. This is my life now as I know it. How do you get over something like this?
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